Kikyo's Heart
by samiuspplz
Summary: Two fics from different points of view... Oh, I can't tell you who. You can probably figure out who is who by the end... But i'm not telling you anyway. XP NYAAAAH! Complete
1. Chapter 1

Kikyo's Heart

Disclaimer: I don't own any Inuyasha characters.

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I was once a boy who dreamed of being a fierce warrior. A boy who soon found that as a fierce warrior, he could gain nothing. A boy... who gave up.

I joined with a group of friends, and we often played around. We never hurt anyone... well, we never killed anyone. It was how we did things, how we lived and survived.

One day, my friends and I were celebrating good fortune. We had a little much to drink... and after that, the only thing I remember doing was crawling out of an enormous fire. I don't know how I survived. After that...

I just wished I was dead. Only one person was keeping me from that goal. A beautiful girl, who I soon grew to love.

She cared for me, watched me, and waited for me to recover. I was so desperate to make her happy, to end her wait... And I made a fatal mistake.

I gave myself to the demons. I let them devour my body. In return, they promised me her love. When I came to show her, however...

I saw her with another. A half breed dog-demon, who didn't even appreciate her for who she was. I saw him, as my darling spoke.

"Do you think we are at all alike?" I saw her blush as though she were in love. Impossible. She was in love with me.

"Feh. I'm just waiting for the Shikon No Tama." Answered that dog.

"No..." She answered her own question, looking at him through pain-filled eyes. "I suppose... we're not."

My demons fought to gain control of my body. They felt my pain. They felt my rage. They understood my jealousy.

My vision turned red, then black.

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Now I look back on those days, and think to myself many, selfish thoughts.

Now, all who know me hate me.

Now, my demons try to kill one who is but a shell of my beloved... And I am the only barrier.

Now I cannot control my own self.

Now my name is not my own.

Kikyo may have loved Onigumo... but she will never love this new me.

I am Naraku. And I am no one.

I am truly alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Alone

I know a half demon named Inu-Yasha. When he glares at me... I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless. And I feel alone.

I thought we were alike. I thought that we could... like each other, at least. When I asked him, though... He looked at me with revulsion. He backed away. Am I really that hideous? Or does he hate me so much?

I suppose he does not trust me. Even after all these times when I could have killed him, and didn't, he...

Beyond my family, there is one other who loves me. He appreciates me, but not for who I am, but for my looks, and the fact that I am taking care of him. He glances at me with eyes that seem to see into my heart... But I know he can't.

Because I don't understand what I feel.

All my life, I was raised to be a priestess. I was lonely, and all the other villagers rejected me, because of my gift. If for some reason, I died, they probably would not even notice my death, nor help me have a proper burial.

But then, they do hate Inu-Yasha. And I know that under the mask he wears, he is just as lonely as I am. Even Onigumo, in his own way, desires affection (mine) but is shunned by all... But me.

If Inu-Yasha met Onigumo, I wonder if they would get along. I wonder if they would grow to like each other, and end their own loneliness. My heart shuns the idea. My jealousy would overtake me, and then they would reject me, and then... I would truly be alone.

Perhaps someday, we will develop our relationships to a level where talking to each other would be like to a brother, or sister. We would not hate each other, nor fear to talk to each other.

Perhaps someday... I will be loved by a man, and I will love him. But all mortals reject some part of me, and I want a man who will like me as I am, who will not try to change me.

I want someone who will not betray me.

I know now who I love. Inu-Yasha...

And I think he loves me too. Is he really willing to become a mortal, and live happily ever after with me? Until death? Yes. He said so himself, that if I welcomed him, he would gladly join me in Hell.

On a lighter note, the thought of spending the rest of my life with him makes my heart beat, and my chest feel light. I guess that means I really am in love.

Tomorrow I will meet with him, and give him the Shikon No Tama. My burden will come to an end, and we will be together, and no longer alone.

I don't understand it.

Inuyasha betrayed me. I still remember the feeling... his claws tearing into my skin... the blood on my face, my torso, my legs. But it was nothing compared to the pain in my heart when he said that...

"Fool, I only wanted to use the jewel to become a full demon. Thanks for this power, now I think I'll go slaughter the village."

And yet, this old woman who claims to be my sister, Kaede, says that it was not him who hurt me. She says that he was betrayed by me. I did no such thing.

She probably was told a pack of lies... Or she herself is a liar. I still refuse to believe she is my sister.

That girl on the ground... her face is like mine. Who is she? If I were truly dead for fifty years, I would believe these liars, and think that she was my reincarnation. Yet she is dead, and I am alive...

No.. Not dead... She is powerful, and I can feel my soul leaving to feed her. I struggled away, escaping into an ice cold river. Inu-Yasha stopped me there, and I saw the confusion in his eyes. Did he even remember his promise, to be with me always? Even in death?

Was that dark place hell? If so, then I really am dead. She really is my reincarnation, and I am...

Am I the Un-Dead, to be grouped with vampires and ghosts? Well, I would be the latter, but I feel too solid to truly be that. This must have been the work of that ogress. Now... What am I? What should I call myself, being the only one of a kind?

Oh... I just realized... Yet again, I am... alone. Only this time, it is worse. This time... I must live off others, feeding on their souls, to keep myself alive. Maybe I should call myself a soul vampire. All hate vampires, and all hate me.

Sooner or later, Inu-Yasha himself will try to kill me... And maybe he will live with my reincarnation, making to her the same promises he made to me.

I had best stop. My heart feels like it's breaking.


End file.
